Why is this so?

Why does all this happen? Why? Well what does this "WHY" refer to? So many things.. Am just trying to ponder and trying if I could find the answer, if not for all, but at least for some of the Whys that pop up in my mind.. Will I succeed? I really don't know. Well, Why is that I wont succeed? Why should I not succeed? Why should one ever fail in life? When we know that failure is a part of life why are we not able to accept it gracefully? Why is that most of the human beings are never able to accept failure and success in the same way? Why does one get bogged down so badly when he fails and flies high in the sky when he wins? Why does he fall again when he flies high? Why do some of those who fall still get up and try? But then, why do few others sit down and cry? And when someone tries , why is there, a "someone" who always tries to push him/her down? And invariably when one cries, why is there again a "someone else" who sits beside him, just to make things worse? Why is that there are people who are always bothered about the others( rather any other) than himself? Why should others' success make this fool sad, or others' failure make this *&$%^ (couldn't find a word that is bad enough) happy?But why is the fellow who is crying or trying be bothered about that wretch? Why is that am not answering all these despite knowing the answers?!?

To start with........ An Incomplete Poem!

She was born when I was four years old,
I cried and fussed as I wanted a baby brother..
But no one seemed to be bothered
They were rejoicing the arrival of a baby girl.
I was led to my mother
She was fast asleep and the baby was now, where I used to be.
I complained to my grandmother
She said, “The new born needs more care.”
I put up a long face and stayed beside her.
I don’t remember how long I cried
I dint find any beauty or charm in that naïve face,
To me it symbolized the end of happiness, once forever.
The heights of fear within me reached its pinnacle.
I imagined how my life would be, in an ORPHANAGE!!!
After a week, my mom came home
She called me by her side, hugged and kissed
Showed me the baby and said “Now you’ve some one to play with..”
“I don’t want her. Take her to the hospital and leave her there.”
I screamed and ran to my grandmother.
My uncle was at the other side, giving me a cold stare.
I was standing behind my grand mother, hiding my face with her pallu
And soiled it with tears.
I was sleepless for the next two nights and it was only then
That ‘great’ idea struck my mind,
I wanted to implement it right away,
But the fear of dark made me wait.
It was siesta time the next day
I crawled from my grandmother’s bed and sneaked to my mother’s room
She was fast asleep and beside her,
Lay that little devil which had taken over my place.
That was the first time, I saw that tender, angel- like face.
I thought back for a second if I should do that?!!
But something… hatred, pain or remorse made me act
I gently touched the baby’s hand and brought my face close to it.
I looked around to check for my uncle’s presence.
I realized that was the best time.
I bit the tiniest finger of the sleeping child with all my strength and ran away
Poorly developed teeth of mine saved the baby’s finger, I guess
It shrieked, screamed in pain.
Frozen with fear I stood still
As its hue and cry had woken up the entire house…….



This is a true event that happened when I was four years old. This is the first incident of sibling rivalry (or something close to that)in my life!